New iTaser

The iTaser from Apple has finally hit shelves after lengthy court battles. The new Phone/MP3 Player/Taser retails at $300 or £600 in the UK. The new gadget has everything for the 21st century person who fears terror attacks and is cheifly for the Coalition of the Willing market. The iTaser will be a prelude to the iKill which will unvailed next year which will have the same accesories as the iTaser but including a built in sub machine gun a drawer for storing quick lime and a fold out shovel. Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple said on Friday "This product will be rolled out starting with deprived areas accoss the USA from early 2008 and should make life easier for the 'troubled American'".

Union Jack not aging well

The redesign and relaunch of the Union Jack has angered some as in order to make the flag inclusive for all regions of the UK sparkles have been added to represent Wales(reference to Wales favourite son and only gay in the villege Daffyd Thomas)and the blue has been lightened under order of the Scotish Parliament as the original St Andrews cross was sky blue and not USA/Bush blue. The new flag was lauched by Ginger Spice on Friday she had no comment on the subject, though Scary Spice did say it was "a bit gay".

Clinton those cals

Presidential candiddate Hilary Clintons diet advice goes down well with female and metrosexual voters accross America. She is however not in favour of liposuction as sucking can do alot of damage, not just to you but your family. While on stage she demonstrated her own excercise including (as pictured) 'National debt' and 'Lynching lunges'.

Gordon Brown

The best world leader since Stalin

Hello

I'm back in charge again!