Personally I think they might all be under some patio in Dublin.
Friday, March 03, 2006
SUSPICIOUS: Why are their hardly any Irish Protestants in the South?
Personally I think they might all be under some patio in Dublin.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
YEEHAA: There still is a boarder after all
A Co. Tyrone man has become the first person to be extradited across the border from Northern Ireland to the Republic under new legislation.
Jason Graham, 27, was handed over to Southern Ireland Gardaí at Lifford Bridge, between Strabane and Lifford, this afternoon.
He was arrested by the Northern Ireland Police Service and taken before a court in Belfast last week on foot of a European Arrest Warrant to face assault charges in Co. Donegal.
The new legislation allows for extradition between European countries and between Europe and the USA for offences of any kind that carry at least a potential 12-month custodial sentence.
* THATS WHAT THE BOARDERS FOR *
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
QUESTIONS EVERYONE SHOULD ASK THEMSELVES
1. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
2. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
3. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
4. Ever notice how irons have a setting for "permanent" press?
5. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?
6. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
7. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
8. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?
9. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
10. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
13. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
14. If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
15. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
16. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
17. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
18. If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?
19. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
20. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
21. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
22. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
23. Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
24. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
25. Is stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
26. What disease did cured ham actually have?
27. What is the speed of darkness?
28. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
29. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass."
30.Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
31. Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
32. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
33. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
34. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
35. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
36. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
37. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
38. Why do we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
39. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
40. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
41. Why does "monosyllable" have five syllables in it?
42. Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh crap - I could be eating a slow learner."
43. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
44. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
45. Why does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing those two songs?
46. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
47. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
48. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
49. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
50. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery!"?
51. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
52. Why is it necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
53. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
54. Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?
55. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
56.Why is what doctors do called "practice"?
57. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
58. You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
* FEEL FREE TO TRY AND ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS *
Saturday, February 25, 2006
ROMANS ROAD
The ROMANS ROAD is a pathway you can walk.
It is a group of bible verses from the book of Romans in the New Testament.
If you walk down this road you will end up understanding how to be saved.
Romans 3:23
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
We all have sin in our hearts. We all were born with sin. We were born under the power of sin's control.
Admit that you are a sinner.
Romans 6:23a
"...The wages of sin is death..."
Sin has an ending. It results in death. We all face physical death, which is a result of sin.
But a worse death is spiritual death that alienates us from God, and will last for all eternity.
The Bible does plainly teach that there is a place called the Lake of Fire where lost people will be in torment forever.
It is the place where people end up that remain spiritually dead.
Understand that you deserve death for your sin.
Romans 6:23b
"...But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Salvation is a free gift from God to you! We can't earn this gift, but we must reach out and receive it.
Ask God to forgive you and save you.
Romans 5:8
"God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us!"
When Jesus died on the cross He paid sin's penalty. He paid the cosmic price for all sin, and when He took all the sins of the world on Himself on the cross, He bought us out of slavery to sin and death! The only condition is that we believe in Him and what He has done for us, understanding that we are now joined with Him, and that He is our life.
Because He loved us and gave Himself for us!
Give your life to God... His love poured out in Jesus on the cross is your only hope to have forgiveness and change. His love bought you out of being a slave to sin. His love is what saves you. Not religion, or church membership.
God loves you! And reaches you right where you are.
Romans 10:13
"Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved!"
Call out to God in the name of Jesus!
Romans 10:9,10
"...If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation."
If you know that God is knocking on your heart door,
ask Him to come into your heart.
Jesus said,
Revelation 3:20a
"Behold I stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him..."
Is Jesus knocking on your heart's door?
Believe in Him. Ask Him to come in to your heart by faith, and ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Open the bible to the gospel of John and read what God says about Jesus, about you, and about being born again.
God will help you. Just talk to Him. He loves you.
You need to look for a local church where God's word is preached. The bible says that we are to desire God's word like a newborn baby desires mother's milk.
Aren't you hungry to know the truth?
Water baptism is one of the ways you first show that you have been joined to Jesus. The symbolism is this: When you go down in the water you show that you have been crucified and buried with Him, And when you come up out of the water you show that you have been raised to walk with Him in newness of life. (See Romans chapter 6)
You have been born again. (See John chapter 3) Your body has become God's temple. Your heart is where He lives. Forgiveness is yours in Jesus. And you belong to Him. You were sin's slave. But now...You are a child of GOD!
John 1:12
"As many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God,
even to those who believe in His name!"
It is a group of bible verses from the book of Romans in the New Testament.
If you walk down this road you will end up understanding how to be saved.
Romans 3:23
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
We all have sin in our hearts. We all were born with sin. We were born under the power of sin's control.
Admit that you are a sinner.
Romans 6:23a
"...The wages of sin is death..."
Sin has an ending. It results in death. We all face physical death, which is a result of sin.
But a worse death is spiritual death that alienates us from God, and will last for all eternity.
The Bible does plainly teach that there is a place called the Lake of Fire where lost people will be in torment forever.
It is the place where people end up that remain spiritually dead.
Understand that you deserve death for your sin.
Romans 6:23b
"...But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Salvation is a free gift from God to you! We can't earn this gift, but we must reach out and receive it.
Ask God to forgive you and save you.
Romans 5:8
"God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us!"
When Jesus died on the cross He paid sin's penalty. He paid the cosmic price for all sin, and when He took all the sins of the world on Himself on the cross, He bought us out of slavery to sin and death! The only condition is that we believe in Him and what He has done for us, understanding that we are now joined with Him, and that He is our life.
Because He loved us and gave Himself for us!
Give your life to God... His love poured out in Jesus on the cross is your only hope to have forgiveness and change. His love bought you out of being a slave to sin. His love is what saves you. Not religion, or church membership.
God loves you! And reaches you right where you are.
Romans 10:13
"Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved!"
Call out to God in the name of Jesus!
Romans 10:9,10
"...If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation."
If you know that God is knocking on your heart door,
ask Him to come into your heart.
Jesus said,
Revelation 3:20a
"Behold I stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him..."
Is Jesus knocking on your heart's door?
Believe in Him. Ask Him to come in to your heart by faith, and ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Open the bible to the gospel of John and read what God says about Jesus, about you, and about being born again.
God will help you. Just talk to Him. He loves you.
You need to look for a local church where God's word is preached. The bible says that we are to desire God's word like a newborn baby desires mother's milk.
Aren't you hungry to know the truth?
Water baptism is one of the ways you first show that you have been joined to Jesus. The symbolism is this: When you go down in the water you show that you have been crucified and buried with Him, And when you come up out of the water you show that you have been raised to walk with Him in newness of life. (See Romans chapter 6)
You have been born again. (See John chapter 3) Your body has become God's temple. Your heart is where He lives. Forgiveness is yours in Jesus. And you belong to Him. You were sin's slave. But now...You are a child of GOD!
John 1:12
"As many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God,
even to those who believe in His name!"
INTOLERENCE
"This is a webpage were I share my sense of humor and my faith. I do not believe my site should be a place for frankly sick anti-Christian comments. I am offended and shocked at the perpatraitors. Comments against another's beliefs is the highest of all insults and should stop. My site is designed for my good friends; Christian friends, and non-Christian friends; who are open and excepting. Things should change. I believe in free speech, but when free speech means unitelligent jibes it is not free speech but mindless. I am proud of my faith and my circle of friends and I wish to keep it that way whatever anyone associated says against." — John H. Hanna
"I believe in an America where religious intolerance will someday end — where all men and all churches are treated as equal — where every man has the same right to attend or not to attend the church of his choice...and where Catholics, Protestants and Jews...will refrain from those attitudes of disdain and division which have so often marred their works in the past, and promote instead the American ideal of brotherhood." — John F. Kennedy, "Address To Southern Baptist Leaders," 1960
* COMMENT RIGHTS SUSPENDED *
Thursday, February 23, 2006
NEW: The Gospel according to Scripture Union
Posted with a tongue firmly in cheek. We're on the lookout for a new Down High School Scripture Union slogan for advertising and marketing purposes, something along the lines of:
"Scripture Union: I cant believe it's not Christianity", "Scripture Union: Tried sex, drugs, rock and roll? Feeling empty? Then come to S. U. and do it all over again", "Scripture Union: We make it up as we go along", "Scripture Union: Doctrine's? What Doctrine's", "Scripture Union: No faith required","Scripture Union: May not actually contain Christianity", "Scripture Union: May contain nuts", "Scripture Union [does not contain scripture]", "Scripture Union: Christianity with only half the moral's!" or my personal favorite; "Scripture Union: There for when you realize atheism is just really boring".
[Picture: some random unionist's (Scripture Unionist's)]
WHAT'S THAT I SMELL. FOREST FIRE? KENYA? BUT I'M ON HOLIDAY [IN HAWAII]!
Superman Tee: £16
Bermuda Shorts: £24
Bananna-Leaf Hat: £6
Hawaiian Necklace: £6
Looking like a complete eejit: PRICELESS
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
COLONEL H CAPTURED
'Colonel H' captured in Moscow posing as statue of Roman god. Reports say he maybe forced to take part in a "Military Skills Competition" at BK. More details will follow.
NET CLOSES IN ON OFFICER WANTED FOR WAR CRIMES
scaryfeet can exclusively reveal that the net is closing in on a guy only known as 'Brigadier H' seen in pictures posted earlier this month with regard to PW abuse. 'Colonel H' [also seen in pictures] has already been interviewed by UN Attorneys.
I MET PAISLEY! At a Scripture Union party
It's true last week I met DUP leader and cause of all of N. Ireland's problems; Ian Paisley at an SU party ['BE AS TY-rant']. We talked for several minutes about Irish politics and world affairs he's quite nice; he reminds me of a good friend of mine; Richard Mulligan for some reason. We kissed, then made-out for hours.
DAVID TRIMBLE ON HOTorNOT.com
David Trimble has joined the ranks of the hot and the not on hotornot.com! President Trimble will be online for several months allowing the citizens of the world to rank the good looks of David Trimble out of 10. Please vote non-partisan.
RATE DAVY [davytrimble98] on HOTorNot.com.
UNTITLED: I believe the dipiction conveys everything
Spain; we understand. Palestine/Isreal; we understand. Iraq; we understand.
Monday, February 20, 2006
SCARE YOURSELF WITH SKY: You've just gotta love Rupert Murdoch for scaring the Shi'ite [as in Muslim] out of everyone
Scare the pants of yourself with Sky News' new FOX-style Atomic Weapon's Interactive Map. I'm going under ground for a while. How many do you think might be lurking around N. Ireland? There's a rumour that there a several stationed underwater outside Ballynahinch in a lough near the 'secret' Missile manufacturing site.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
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