THE PEACE PROCESS (copyright 1998)

Is it just me or is anyone else starting to feel that rather than the traditional good-cop-bad-cop diplomatic routine as favoured by P. M. Blair and T. Ahern (used to secure the Good Friday Agreement) Laurel and Hardy diplomacy is now the norm? i. e. Stormontgate, Castlereagh, Northern Bank etc.

PETITION TO BRING BACK TRIMBLE!

In Summer 2005 former N. Ireland First Minister (it basically means Prime Minister but we have to be PC!) David Trimble was frozen by the Irish government to preserve his moderate and demi-god-like opinions for a future N. Ireland generation that would except him (the above distressing picture shows Davy's present state). Unfortunatly due to Irish government cutbacks Mr Trimble is in a large home-freezer somewere in Dublin. (P.S. I have nothing against the Irish government I actually quite like them... I'll stop digging!!) I propose that Mr Trimble is transported (First-Class delivery- 32p what a bargin!) to Hillsborough Castle were he will take up residence a President of N. Ireland. All hail President Trimble! Please sign petition leaving feedback below.

LONDONDERRY-DUBLINLISBURN?

Look I really don't get this!!!! Which is it Derry or Londonderry? Why in the 21st century can we not sort this out... I mean it's been an issue for over 400 hundred years. It's not like P. M. Maggie Thatcher forced the name on 'Doire' (that's Derry in Irish... I'm so PC!) just to annoy the catholic population, I mean the name was given to the town as an honor from the London Corporation for surviving the siege of Derry, what's wrong with that? If it really matters that much why don't we rename a predominately unionist city as a compromise, i. e. Dublinlisburn! I have no problem saying Derry but I always feel awkward it's as if I'm trying to make some kind of political statement! I'M NOT! It's shorter! How come people can say "I'm heading up to Ards" meaning Newtownards without it turning into some kind of demonstration against 'the British occupation of Ireland'? MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!

MATHS: "There for when your just not good at anything else"

You would not believe how tempted I was to do this in my GCSE Maths paper!!!! It's quite intresting though because under the new changes in N. Ireland secondary education the answer given would be correct.

FOX NEWS "truly unbiased opinion's!"

I've a feeling that this would be true!

IRELAND!!!! It's like Palestine/Isreal, 1960's Alabama and Iraq all rolled into one! IMAGINE LIVING THERE!

I live there! Ireland's got it all, especially N. Ireland!

First Minister John Hanna!

Hi! I'm John!