NEW: The Gospel according to Scripture Union

Posted with a tongue firmly in cheek. We're on the lookout for a new Down High School Scripture Union slogan for advertising and marketing purposes, something along the lines of:
"Scripture Union: I cant believe it's not Christianity", "Scripture Union: Tried sex, drugs, rock and roll? Feeling empty? Then come to S. U. and do it all over again", "Scripture Union: We make it up as we go along", "Scripture Union: Doctrine's? What Doctrine's", "Scripture Union: No faith required","Scripture Union: May not actually contain Christianity", "Scripture Union: May contain nuts", "Scripture Union [does not contain scripture]", "Scripture Union: Christianity with only half the moral's!" or my personal favorite; "Scripture Union: There for when you realize atheism is just really boring".
[Picture: some random unionist's (Scripture Unionist's)]